Sometimes it is hard to take new, necessary steps after a divorce. The emotional turbulence, coupled with the daunting prospect of rebuilding from seemingly scratch, can be overwhelming. Yet, in the midst of the chaos of divorce, there lies a powerful concept: taking "massively small steps." The process of small steps is about acknowledging and celebrating the seemingly insignificant victories that, when combined, create a pathway to profound progress.

Divorce is not the end; it is a new beginning. The new beginning provides an opportunity to recreate yourself, redefine your priorities, and embark on a journey of self-discovery. As you navigate the post-divorce landscape, remember that every small step counts. These tiny victories may seem inconsequential at first, but they are the building blocks of your future.

If you are going through divorce at this very moment or starting your next chapter after divorce, think: “What is a small victory you can reflect on from this past week? Past month? Or even past year?”

One of the first massively small steps I found helpful was self-care. Whether it was a quiet walk, meditation, or indulging in a favorite hobby, taking a moment each day to do something that nurtures my well-being proved helpful after divorce. These small acts of self-care (or “self-love”) may seem trivial, but they gradually accumulate, fostering emotional healing and resilience. I never thought I would be interested in Yoga, but now I do it every single day (sometimes for a 5-minute breathing or small stretch exercise, and other times for 30 minutes to get more in). With self-care, I have the ability to protect my peace and give my mind a break from all of the things I manage. If Yoga is not for you, maybe it is reading for pleasure? Trying a new recipe? Or playing a video game? Each small moment…small step of finding something relaxing and truly pleasurable truly helps.

Rebuilding after a divorce often involves restructuring your social circles. Massively small steps in this area could include reconnecting with loyal friends, creating boundaries with acquaintances, attending social events, or even striking up a conversation with a colleague. As you take these seemingly minor strides, you will find that your support network expands and creates a safety net during challenging times. Examine your network and see where you need to make room for the new. Only invest in the relationships that bring you joy…let all the others go.

Financial independence is another aspect where tiny victories matter. If you pay particular attention, you can notice substantial victories by keeping track of the pennies. Start by creating a budget and a financial plan (and do not forget about potential legal fees in the future). No matter how small or seemingly insignificant, small steps lead to financial stability. Some financial steps may involve seeking new employment opportunities, exploring budgeting apps or other technology, or consulting with a financial advisor. Each decision contributes to your economic empowerment and independence. 

Embracing personal growth is an essential part of the post-divorce journey. Engage in activities that challenge and inspire you, whether it is taking a class, learning a new skill, or pursuing a long-forgotten passion. Massively small steps in personal development will lead to a stronger, more resilient version of yourself. You owe that to yourself. 

If you have children, parenting after a divorce can be particularly challenging. But you can take small steps here too! Celebrate the little moments with your children, whether it is a shared laugh, a comforting conversation, or a joint activity. These small steps contribute to the creation of a stable and nurturing environment for your family.

Finally: Forgiveness. Divorce can wreak havoc on your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Taking a moment to forgive others and yourself is a profoundly impactful massively small step. Release the weight of resentment and guilt to make room for healing. This process may involve journaling, therapy, a meditation retreat, or engaging in activities that promotes emotional and trauma release and acceptance.

Progress is rarely linear. Each small step may take more energy or time than you expected. And that is okay. The post-divorce timeline is very personalized and individualized. Try hard not to compare your journey to that of others. Some days will feel like setbacks, but setbacks or small steps too. These are opportunities to practice resilience and self-compassion. Embrace the journey, acknowledging that every step, no matter how small, propels you toward growth and fulfillment. As a collective, the massively small steps create a new you!

- Anonymous Client

"Through the Client's Eye" blog series stems from the desire of Modern Legal clients to share information to those who have yet to endure a family law matter. Each client's story is exquisitely unique; however, there are many times when a client will say at the end of the case, "I wish I had known..." This blog series focuses on filling that gap as a means to help anyone who is about to start or is in the midst of a family law dispute. The comments contained in each blog reflect the feelings and viewpoint of the respective client. All identifying information has been withheld to protect said client's identity as well as any related legal matter.