5 Common Myths About Child Custody—Debunked

We have all heard the horror stories about custody battles. While some are true, many are clouded by common myths that add unnecessary confusion and stress to an already emotional process. Let’s clear the air on a few of the most common custody misconceptions:

1. Myth: Courts Always Favor Mothers

Reality: Gender does not determine custody. Prior to 1977, there was a presumption that mothers were more suitable in caring for young children in what was known as the “tender years doctrine.” Since this was abolished in 1977, Judges are required to evaluate several factors to decide what arrangement serves the best interest of the child without favoring either parent due to gender alone.

2. Myth: 50/50 Child Custody Is Guaranteed

Reality: Every state takes a different approach. The guiding presumption is “best interest of the child.” Although many judges may start from a position that equal time is best, the evidence presented in a child custody matter may prove otherwise. Bottom line: child custody outcomes depend on facts, not formulas.

3. Myth: No Visitation Means No Child Support

Reality: Child support and visitation are two separate legal issues. If you have a court-ordered child support obligation, it remains in effect and is a legal requirement — even if you are not currently seeing your child. You may have legal remedies for missed parenting time, but skipping child support payments is not one of them.

4. Myth: An Abusive Partner Cannot Get Visitation with a Child

Reality: While courts take abuse seriously, domestic violence or abuse by one parent does not automatically bar said parent from seeing their child, especially if the child was not present or otherwise a victim to said abuse. Judges may impose safety measures, such as supervised visitation, to balance safety with the parent’s constitutional right to maintain a relationship with the child.

5. Myth: My Case Will Be Just Like My Friend’s Case or Family Member’s Case

Reality: No two child custody cases are the same. Even small differences in facts—like parenting schedules, job schedules, or child needs—can dramatically affect the outcome. Avoid assumptions and get tailored legal advice fitting to your family’s situation.

Child custody matters are complex and highly personal. If you are facing a custody issue or considering a change in your family structure, our experienced Modern Legal team is here to guide you through the process with clarity and care.

If you or somebody you know is in a child custody dispute, our team at Modern Legal is here to help.

Please note: these educational materials are based on North Carolina and South Carolina law where my legal practice is based. While the insights may have wide applicability, readers should consult with an attorney regarding the specific laws in their state or country.