The Collaborative Law Process
Unfortunately, when you watch television shows or movies that include segments about divorce, they almost always depict the most destructive divorce possible. But from your local family law attorney, rest assured: divorce does not have to be vicious. Your family does not have to be annihilated. You do not need to feel diminished as an individual. No one wins or loses in divorce, despite what Hollywood may lead you to believe.
For several years, beginning before the 1990s, there have been movements toward dispute resolution in an effort for individuals divorcing to separate more peacefully. In North Carolina, the alternatives to court-driven litigation include collaboration, mediation, and arbitration. While arbitration is much like litigation but is conducted outside of the court, collaborative law and mediation are both great alternatives to the fighting that people typically associate with divorce.
Reality Check: There are more peaceful and dignified ways to end your Marriage.
Both the mediation process and the collaborative process allow you to remain in control of your life. While you and your spouse may not be communicating well together, lawyers who are involved in these types of cases work with you to empower you to make decisions that meet your interests and the interests of your family thereby allowing you to stay in control of the outcomes.
Collaborative law utilizes a team of professionals, including family law attorneys who have received advanced training in the fundamental philosophy of using collaborative methods to resolve divorces peacefully.
Available to the initial team of attorneys and their client are neutral individuals who can be brought in to assist the process. A child behavior specialist can be the voice of the children, helping the parents understand what the divorce looks and feels like from the child’s perspective. A financial analyst can work with you, or with both you and your spouse to help you deal with complex financial issues. A mental health professional can assist you and your spouse with feelings of loss relating to the separation and by guiding you to either become or remain communicators with each other as you navigate the divorce process and beyond. A divorce coach is extremely helpful in cases where there are children involved or when there is a huge financial imbalance in the marriage.
During the collaborative process, the spouses dictate the pace of the resolution and they agree to never take the issues to court. The team guides each of you to results that are solely based on the interest and needs of each person and not what the law says must be done, although the law is always in the background and not forgotten. It allows you to address needs and interests rather than the law so that you can reach a resolution that focuses on what each of you can give and receive as you uncouple with each other.
Divorce is difficult, divorce is hard, divorce is sad, but divorce does not need to be ugly. Various alternative dispute resolutions, including the Collaborative Process, are always available as other possibilities and in most cases allow the spouses to divorce peacefully, which allows a chapter to be closed and a new one to be opened in a healthier way.
At Modern Legal, we are solutions-oriented attorneys and sometimes that means courtroom litigators, but we are always looking for alternative dispute resolutions. We have attorneys who are certified mediators and attorneys who are collaboratively trained. We believe in options, and we believe in peacemaking when possible.
To learn more about Mediation, click here.
If you or someone you know wants to learn more about Collaborative Law and other Litigation Alternatives, our Modern Legal Team is here to help.
Please note: these educational materials are based on North Carolina law where my legal practice is based. While the insights may have wide applicability, readers should consult with an attorney regarding the specific laws in their state or country.
Prior to practicing family law, I worked for many years in the financial industry. While I enjoyed this career in business, I wanted to do more – I wanted to make an impact on the lives of my community that would empower my clients throughout the test of time. I wanted to work to make lives better and inspire people to make important decisions for themselves and for their families. I completed my undergraduate degree in Business at Queens University in Charlotte, North Carolina. Eighteen years later (2003) I received my law degree from Syracuse University College of Law. And, for over fifteen years, I have represented children through the Council For Children’s Rights Custody Advocacy Program.
