Going to Family Court Feels like a Kick to the Gut
“Stepping into the Courtroom – both sides have already lost.” – Even if you do not hear it directly, attorneys and judges share this sentiment about many cases they see. The sentiment is shared because most families never plan for separation, divorce, or a litigated battle over children and property. This does not mean that you do not have rights to assert and protections to enforce; however, regardless of the circumstance, there is something that has brought you into a family law courtroom that may cause you some angst or disappointment. There are all kinds of reasons for the disappointment. At the end of the day, the fact will remain that we can never truly predict what a Family Court Judge will do in any given situation. Below are a few ways to help deal with disappointment when it comes.
- Allow Yourself to Feel. Disappointment, anger, sadness, frustration, angst – these are all normal reactions in a family law dispute and in Court. Giving yourself some time to process those feelings and not push them away or ignore them can help build emotional resilience. When you give yourself space and time to process, you can proceed with upcoming challenges with a clear mind.
- Seek Support and Guidance. It is okay to not know how to move forward after a disappointment. Talking with a trusted person such as a counselor, family member, or advisor can help lighten the emotional load, keep you grounded. They may even provide a fresh perspective.
- Practice Self-Care. If you are not careful, the stress from family court can negatively impact other areas of your life. Developing ways to manage your stress in a healthy manner is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your family. Figure out ways to grow, instead of crumbling, through the adversity. This will build your resilience to deal with future difficulties as they arise.
- Reevaluate Expectations. It happens often – you walk into a court hearing thinking you will get your ideal parenting schedule and the Judge decides to do something totally different. Perhaps the result ends up being something that had not ever crossed your mind as a possibility. After allowing yourself time to feel and process what the new reality is, you will need to re-evaluate your expectations to address your next steps in the immediate future. This is when you may take things one day at a time, or one moment at a time. Maybe that means re-scheduling some events with the children or changing some plans to adjust with your new financial reality. Whatever the situation and expectations were, it is different now. It is important to align your options with the realities of the situation as they are in this present moment.
The matters addressed in Family Court are some of the most emotional and intimate issues that exist. Making sure you are working with someone who understands the emotional implications of Family Court is imperative to dealing with the inevitable disappointments you will experience during the process.
If you or somebody you know is navigating a family law matter in Court, our team at Modern Legal is here to help.
Please note: these educational materials are based on North Carolina law where my legal practice is based. While the insights may have wide applicability, readers should consult with an attorney regarding the specific laws in their state or country.
Written by: Tiffany A. Byrd
Family is at the heart of everything I do, both personally and professionally. As a Family Law Attorney, I combine my passion for helping others with my unique journey—from growing up as the eldest child in a single-parent household to becoming the first attorney in my family. My experiences shaped my dedication to advocating for families in their most critical moments. Whether you’re building, protecting, or securing your family’s future, I’m here to help you find meaningful resolutions tailored to your needs.
