With the month of May comes a lot to celebrate. Summer is nearing, the weather is arguably at its peak, and families start bringing out their grills. In the spirit of celebration, we also celebrate Memorial Day.
On Memorial Day, we celebrate those that have passed while acting in the line of service for this country. Regardless of the many different backgrounds we all hail from, the passing of a loved one in service is a heartbreak no family wishes to experience. This holiday may hit some families harder than others.
In response to the intense feelings associated with such a day, we must counteract with real celebration to remember those loved ones. One of the best ways of doing so, is to express affection and love with the family that is still here.
Young Ones
Loss of loved ones may be especially hard for the youth to not only grasp, but to cope with. Providing comfort and reassurance to the youth of the family is mutually beneficial. Kids need that comfort to develop healthy coping mechanisms with such a sensitive topic in their young lives. Especially in instances dealing with the loss of direct or close family members, those children need attachment to fill a void they have never felt before.
Being attentive to children in such instances proves fruitful for the adults and parents as well. Adults are now tasked with a motivation to reach the light at the end of a dark tunnel. Instead of allowing the loss to negatively distract themselves, they allow the needs of the family’s kids to take priority. Comforting and protecting the kids in such a meaningful time may give them purpose to get out of bed and strive to show those kids how to deal with such feelings.
The adults may utilize this an opportunity to mature their youth. Leading by example of how to display emotional intelligence, great communication of feelings, and leaving an open line of communication will surely aid in developing the necessary comfort for a child.
Stay Focused
The death of loved ones may cause or further worsen rifts in a family. Whether the family is nuclear and under one roof, or separate and apart, the death of loved ones calls for unity and teamwork.
In wake of a death, family members should take necessary steps to ensure that the wishes of the deceased are met. Any legally significant documents, wills or testamentary communications should all be gathered. It is key to remember that the point of probate is to best reflect the intent of the deceased, not the desires of the living.
Keep disputes over the estate to a minimal, as this benefits all interested parties. Turning a loved one’s estate into another reason to grow farther apart is surely counterproductive to the wishes of the deceased.
Ensuring the wishes of the deceased are met to their fullest is one of the best ways to ensure that their memory is kept alive as long as possible.
Remember them Well!
Going through grief may look different for all, but there is a similarity in how we all do it. We are all grieving because we remember what and/or who we loss. But that does not mean grieving must be some ugly process that we all must go through. We have the agency to make it an experience of thankfulness for experiencing someone we loved.
Instead of dwelling on the person no longer being here, embrace what they did while they were here. A family may be able to bond over eating the favorite foods of the deceased, or playing their favorite games together. One could celebrate their life with presenting all the accolades that family member accomplished in their lifetime. Sharing stories of how that family member impacted everyone and keeping their name alive through word of mouth. Each of these things are a few of countless examples families may use to remember a loved one well as we celebrate a holiday that is near and dear to many.
If you or somebody you know is navigating estate planning, our team at Modern Legal is here to help.
Jordan Wideman is a compassionate family law attorney at Modern Legal, driven by a lifelong passion for helping others. Coming from a family rooted in public service, Jordan brings empathy, strength, and dedication to every client. A proud first-generation attorney, Jordan uses personal experience and deep community ties to guide families through their most important challenges—because to Jordan, family is defined by love, not just blood.
