Lost and Found: A story about Marriage and Divorce… and a Retainer
When I was in 5th grade, I always bought hot lunch on pizza day. It was the only day my mom allowed me to forgo the dreaded task of packing a lunch. Instead, I got to experience the excitement of getting in line with a bright orange tray, grabbing my cherished piece of rectangular shaped pizza and choosing a few equally appealing sides. On one memorable pizza day, I sat with my friends, took out my retainer, carefully wrapped it in a napkin and sat it on my tray while enjoying the lunch break. And yes, you can gather what happened next. I did not realize I had thrown my napkin-wrapped retainer into trash until it was time to get on the bus to go home. I immediately asked my teacher for permission to go to the “lost and found” (as if a retainer would magically transfer from the school garbage to the “lost and found” bin). I can laugh about that incident now (even though my mom sure did not think it was funny at the time) and even compare it to my current situation post-Divorce.
I got married very young and remained married for two decades. At some point, within those 20 years, I became lost. I lost who I was as an individual. I lost who I was as a wife. I lost who I was as a mother. The weight of a dissolving marriage was an unbearable heavy burden. I was at a total loss for how to “end it” because I could not find a safe or healthy solution. What was lost just could not be found. My “lost marriage” was simply buried too deep in the school dumpster on pizza day. There was no getting it back.
As I began to research how to pursue a divorce in the state of North Carolina, I decided that since the state requires one full calendar year of legal separation, I could manage the process on my own. I would have nothing but time to figure out each move that had to be made, to file the appropriate paperwork and to involve my ex in the entire process with the hopes of a peaceful divorce. Only, it was hard and frustrating. It was scary and confusing. It was not peaceful because divorce is not a decision we usually make in times of peace. I was getting more and more lost every day, which is why I made the decision to retain an attorney at Modern Legal. In no way do I mean this to sound “5th grade girl who has thrown away her retainer dramatic,” but once I hired an attorney, I IMMEDIATELY gained a professional who took so much stress off my shoulders. My attorney made every move, made every list of things that needed to be done, and made the necessary contact with my ex’s attorney that was required to pursue a more peaceful process. With the assistance of an attorney, I immediately found direction and a path forward. To say that Modern Legal found what I had lost is an understatement.
I reflect on the year of separation and how I felt so incredibly lost. I did not know how to be single, manage a household with multiple children on my own, all while working a full-time job. Post-divorce, I am found. After taking almost two years of healing, I have found a new, healthy romantic relationship that brings me tremendous joy. I have found new techniques for managing the stress that is natural in a divorce. I have found ways of communicating with my ex that are meaningful to my entire family. I have found a Family Law team that exceeded every single expectation possible and one that I continuously recommend to others.
If you are lost, please do not feel like you will never experience the peace of being found. You will. It just takes time…and an amazing attorney. I never found that retainer (thank goodness…it never would have been the same after being in the school dumpster), but my teeth and smile made it through. There is so much to be found after a loss.
– Anonymous Client
“Through the Client’s Eye” blog series stems from the desire of Modern Legal clients to share information to those who have yet to endure a family law matter. Each client’s story is exquisitely unique; however, there are many times when a client will say at the end of the case, “I wish I had known…” This blog series focuses on filling that gap as a means to help anyone who is about to start or is in the midst of a family law dispute. The comments contained in each blog reflect the feelings and viewpoint of the respective client. All identifying information has been withheld to protect said client’s identity as well as any related legal matter.
