Project Management of Divorce
I’m good at some things and not so good at others. I’m good at scheduling, organizing, getting stuff done, and planning. I’m not so good at cooking (although I do it every night), sleeping (but the increased demands as a single parent keep me up), or evidently marriage.
A few years back when I decided that separating from my husband was the only option for my marriage, I immediately jumped into business mode. Emotions were extremely high and had to be managed as well, but the type of separation I chose required my time, focus, and overall management. I had to think of my separation, which I chose to lead to a final divorce, as a project and become very business minded. Here’s where the scheduling, organizing, getting stuff done, and planning came in handy. While these are natural skills for some, they can be easily developed in others…and if you don’t already possess them, there’s nothing like the life altering decision to divorce that can help you develop them. Divorce became my project. This required some serious project management efforts.
In my professional life, I operate under project management. I follow a very basic cycle for the work I do: initiate, plan, execute, and close. Each of the four phases have associated tasks. I love an excuse to create a spreadsheet. The project management of my divorce allowed me to design a spreadsheet that kept me focused on the goal, maximized my time, and helped me stay laser focused during a time of extreme emotions that I had never experienced before and frankly wasn’t prepared to deal with.
The project management of the divorce actually became something I could pour my energy into instead of being sad, angry, lonely or anything else. The cycle really helped me successfully manage my divorce. Maybe it will help you too:
Initiate: This is the first phase of a project and where the big ideas flow. It’s where you launch the idea. My idea happened to be final divorce. I initiated this by contacting Modern Legal. Each of the team’s attorneys, paralegals, legal assistants, and support staff were exceptional. They listened, refocused me when I got fired up (it wasn’t part of the plan, but it did happen), and ultimately helped me gain peace. First things first, hire an attorney. The state of North Carolina demands much of family law and unless you have the expertise, a TON of free time (like nothing else going on in your life, including sleeping), or endless cash flow (because it’s even more expensive when you don’t know what you are doing), let the experts do the work!
Plan: This is the second phase of a project and where you get organized before getting things done. The Modern Legal Team will provide you with a list of tasks that must be managed…and quickly. Remember, you are paying a legal team by the hour, so investing time on your end and following through on all of their asks saves you money in the long run. Plan out each and every task (on your spreadsheet if you’re a nerd like me) and set an associated target due date. I recommend managing everything asked of you within 24 hours (if possible), 48 hours (when you need a minute to collect yourself), or a maximum of one week if it’s a monumental task that requires research, organization of documents, etc. Planning is very important because if you skip listing any tasks related to what needs to be executed, the Modern Legal team will send you a reminder. Every reminder takes the team time to put together. Every time you utilize their time…you are billed. They are experts after all and are doing SO MANY THINGS behind the scenes. Make it take less time for them in any way possible.
Execute: This is the third phase of a project and where the magic happens. Depending on the conditions of your separation or divorce, you may stay in this phase of the project for a long time. For me, it was about 15 months…12 months of separation and an additional 3 months of management for various reasons and necessary actions.
Each divorce is so unique and no two have the same conditions related to execution; especially when the emotions on both sides are so high. Sometimes when you are in this phase, you may have to teeter between the planning phase and the execution phase. It just depends on how the opposing party responds to each step that is executed with you and your attorney. My experience with Modern Legal was one of HIGH execution on the side of my attorney and paralegal. Every single plan I had in place was executed and to the desired outcome I had planned. This was due to the high level of trust, active communication, and organization between me and my attorney. The objective of this phase of the project is to stay focused and organized. It may take 15 months like me, or it may take longer. Either way, your project
management will help you feel in control of your circumstances and ready to take on any tasks necessary. Your spreadsheet can also become an outstanding artifact that illustrates all you are capable of managing.
Close: This is the fourth and final phase of a project and probably the best one. It’s where you get to mark each initiated, planned, and executed task off the list. It’s where you get to celebrate…and if you’ve chosen the Modern Legal team to represent you, that’s a celebration in itself. The day my divorce was finalized, I cried. Tears of sadness…because it wasn’t the way I had intended to invest my time and money or the circumstances I craved for my children. But also tears of joy because I did something really, really hard really, really well. The Modern Legal team celebrated with me. Their approach to representing you is unmatched. You’ll know what I mean when you reach the closure phase of your “project.”
It’s been almost three years since I initiated my divorce and launched one of the most important projects I’ve ever taken on, personally. I have closed out my spreadsheet. I have shared the project management of divorce process with family and friends to assist them as they’ve encountered undesired situations. Doing so has reminded me that there is another side. There’s peace again. There’s happiness again. There’s financial security again. In the meantime, there’s Modern Legal…and lifesaving spreadsheets.
– Anonymous Client
“Through the Client’s Eye” blog series stems from the desire of Modern Legal clients to share information to those who have yet to endure a family law matter. Each client’s story is exquisitely unique; however, there are many times when a client will say at the end of the case, “I wish I had known…” This blog series focuses on filling that gap as a means to help anyone who is about to start or is in the midst of a family law dispute. The comments contained in each blog reflect the feelings and viewpoint of the respective client. All identifying information has been withheld to protect said client’s identity as well as any related legal matter.
