Social Media Sabotage:
The Socially Unacceptable Side to Divorce
Is social media your friend or enemy? I admittedly have almost a thousand “Facebook” friends, and I love seeing everyone’s family vacation pictures, funny memes and birth announcements! I love posting pictures and accomplishments, too!
Early into my attorney-client relationship with my attorney, Theresa Viera, I learned that I had to be careful with social media. When you are in the litigation process, pretty much anything can be used against you. I had to demonstrate more self-discipline than I did when I committed to the Keto diet.
I was months into sheltering in place during the COVID-19 pandemic, tired, lonely, sad and MAD. I was OH SO mad at my ex-spouse for so many reasons and dreamed of completely calling him out on social media. I wrote and rewrote posts, divorce announcements and downright rude things about my situation…but only in my head. I fought the urge to publicly share what I had hidden for so long; an unraveling marriage.
Before you post, consider:
– Even before your separation, your “legal case” is active. Your posts could incriminate you or diminish your chances of favorable outcomes related to any of your family law claims. For example: If you are fighting for custody but you just posted something about the relief you feel when your children are being cared for by someone else, this does not look good! Even your attorney cannot erase your social media posts.
– Who will see your post? What you post reflects your integrity and ethics. You may be friends with your children, your pastor, your co-workers, or prospective employers. You may even find yourself searching for a new job in a separation situation. Employers DO search your social media profiles and platforms to inspect your character. How will what you post when you are experiencing extreme emotion impact your future?
– You are in a very vulnerable state when you have made the life changing decision to end your marriage. What you post may be shared with audiences that it was never intended for. Your post may be taken out of context. Your post may not make you proud a year from now. Once you post it, you can’t take it back.
– Resist the urge to sabotage your ex-spouse on social media. “Type” out posts in your head or jot them in a reflection journal, but do not actually post them on any social media forum. For every negative thought/post that goes through your head, force yourself to either post something positive or positively comment on a friend’s posts.
– If you must send a “nasty” social media post to anyone though, email it to your attorney. Your attorney-client privilege will protect your privacy and will likely protect your dignity.
Personal Recommendation: Social media is a time sucker. If you have made the decision to hire an attorney and move forward with the separation and divorce process, you likely do not have much time to waste. Ask your attorney before deleting anything – a profile, post, or other information online – but more importantly, consider removing social media apps from your devices so you are not tempted to sabotage yourself. If that is too drastic, monitor yourself by peeking at your digital well-being on your device. How much time per day are you spending on social media? How much time could you regain by removing an app? Finally, ask a trusted friend or family member to be your social media accountability partner. This person can help you monitor your posts and the time you spend online!
– Anonymous Client
“Through the Client’s Eye” blog series stems from the desire of Modern Legal clients to share information to those who have yet to endure a family law matter. Each client’s story is exquisitely unique; however, there are many times when a client will say at the end of the case, “I wish I had known…” This blog series focuses on filling that gap as a means to help anyone who is about to start or is in the midst of a family law dispute. The comments contained in each blog reflect the feelings and viewpoint of the respective client. All identifying information has been withheld to protect said client’s identity as well as any related legal matter.
