On August 26, 2025, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce broke the internet when they announced their long-awaited engagement. Work, classes, and cars stopped as people everywhere celebrated and shared the news of America’s upcoming “royal” celebrity wedding. For days after, “swifties” were captivated by viral memes and videos, and among them, jokes of how long the prenup will be for the billionaire Eras Tour Queen and her NFL husband to be.
As a family law attorney in North Carolina, I regularly work with couples preparing premarital agreements (often called “prenups”). These agreements are useful legal tools to provide security and set expectations for both soon-to-be spouses. Not only do prenups help couples enter marriage with clarity, but they can help protect assets, inheritance, and business interests. Prenups can also shield you from your partner’s debts both before the marriage and for years after the date of the wedding.
Prenups can provide peace of mind on your special day. More importantly, the premarital legal counseling phase that accompanies prenup negotiations can reveal deeper issues that you may have ignored—or not have known. In the course of these discussions and negotiations, red flags expose themselves—warning signs that a couple may need to pause and reconsider the timing of their wedding. Some of the notable concerns I have seen include:
“Flags on the Play”
- One-Sided Demands
A fair prenup should protect both partners’ interests. If your fiancé insists on terms that only benefit them—such as keeping all assets separate while refusing to acknowledge your probable contributions to the marriage or joint financial security—that is a sign of imbalance. In North Carolina, premarital agreements are enforceable only if they are entered into voluntarily. If one partner is steamrolling the process, that is not a good foundation for a marriage.
- Pressure and Ultimatums
A prenup should never be presented as a “sign this or the wedding is off” ultimatum. If your fiancé is pushing you to sign quickly, discouraging you from seeking your own attorney, or creating a time pressure before the wedding, this raises concerns about control and fairness. True agreements are reached through open discussion—not coercion.
- Lack of Transparency
Full financial disclosure is essential. If one partner hides income, assets, or debts—or refuses to provide documentation—there is a trust issue at play. A prenup negotiated under incomplete or inaccurate information may not hold up in court, and it certainly does not help build confidence and trust between future spouses.
- Discourages Retaining an Attorney
It is strongly advised that each party have their own attorney when negotiating a prenup. If your fiancé resists or discourages you from retaining your own counsel, it shows a disregard for your right to informed decision-making and to protection of legal interests. A healthy relationship respects each person’s independence, autonomy, and ability to seek assistance and education.
- Signs of Larger Control Issues
Sometimes, the prenup negotiation exposes concerns that are just the tip of the iceberg. If your fiancé dismisses your concerns, insists on secrecy, or treats your opinions as unimportant, these actions may be signs of broader relationship patterns. A prenup cannot fix underlying control, respect, or trust problems, but it can reveal traits you should know about your partner before the exchange of vows on the wedding day.
Timeline for a Spousal Agreement before or after the Wedding
For our clients, we highly recommend that couples begin premarital legal counseling and prenup negotiations well before the big day. At the absolute latest, you want to be signing your prenup at least a month before the wedding date. Not only does this help protect you from future enforceability issues of the agreement in court, but stressing about a legal contract should be the last thing on your mind when finalizing the wedding day details – flowers, dresses, and the guest list.
If the wedding is quickly approaching and prenup negotiations have stalled, some couples ask whether they can address these terms after the wedding. In North Carolina, the answer is yes—you may enter into a postnuptial agreement (aka “postnup”) after the date of the wedding.
However, it is important to understand key differences between the two:
- A premarital agreement (aka “Prenup”) is signed before the date of the wedding and sets out financial rights and obligations during the marriage or in the event of divorce. The parties can choose to waive spousal support in the event of separation in a premarital agreement.
- A postnuptial agreement is executed after the date of the wedding, and North Carolina law has a different ‘rulebook’ on postnuptial agreements since certain rights and obligations were assumed upon the “I do’s” of the wedding day. Postnuptial agreements are often scrutinized more closely by the court for signs for coercion or fraud—making them harder to negotiate and enforce. Since spousal support is a martial right that attaches once the parties are married, you cannot agree to waive spousal support in a postnuptial agreement either.
While a postnup may be a helpful tool for couples who miss the chance to finalize a prenup, it should never be used as a way to rush into marriage without addressing serious concerns. A postnup is not a substitute for healthy, open communication and negotiations before the wedding.
When to Consider Postponing the Wedding
If any of these red flags appear, it may be wise to slow down or even stop in your tracks. While perhaps a logistical hassle, postponing a wedding is far better than entering into a marriage with unresolved issues. Prenups can be a healthy tool when both partners approach them with honesty, transparency, and mutual respect. But if the process leaves you feeling pressured, unheard, or unprotected, this may be a sign to step back and reconsider.
Marriage creates a legal, financial and emotional partnership. The way you and your fiancé navigate a prenup often reflects how you will handle future challenges together. Taking the time now to resolve concerns—or to pause if necessary—can save heartache later.
While Taylor does have some of the most iconic songs for broken hearts out there, a family law attorney can help you protect your rights and guide you through the prenup process so that your wedding and more importantly your marriage is a success!
If you or somebody you know wants to learn more about spousal agreements, our team at Modern Legal is here to help.
Please note: these educational materials are based on North Carolina law where my legal practice is based. While the insights may have wide applicability, readers should consult with an attorney regarding the specific laws in their state or country.
My journey to be a family law attorney began before I was even born. As a child of surrogacy, legal minds were already sorting through the details of my existence before anyone knew I too would become an attorney helping families. I now have wonderful relationships with my parents, as well as my birth mother, and I am grateful to the attorneys who made it all happen. I have thoroughly enjoyed this meaningful work and continue to be inspired and motivated by relationships with clients, understanding their stories, and helping them to assert their rights. I am eager to continue this advocacy and am ready and willing to work with you on any of your family law needs.
