It’s that time of year again. First, we are calculating how to squeeze fifteen family members around the dining room table at Thanksgiving. Then, a few days later, we are blasting “Deck the Halls” while checking off our holiday shopping lists. While the holiday season is busy and exciting, it can also be stressful for many families – particularly if you do not have a specific custody schedule developed for the holidays. It is difficult enough to juggle running errands and to mail out holiday cards; the last thing anyone wants to do is argue over who has the kids for each of the holidays this year.
Typically, parents will celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas with their children on an alternating schedule. For example, if Mom spends Thanksgiving with the kids this year, then Dad will have them for Christmas Day. Then this custody arrangement will be the opposite next year. This type of holiday exchange schedule is the standard; however, know that you can be as specific as you want or have a unique holiday schedule that is different than what a Court would award. Keep in mind the following when creating your ideal holiday custody schedule:
Travel
If your holiday plans involve road-tripping to Grandma’s house or taking an annual winter cruise, this can affect how you plan out your custody schedule. You may request to block off a certain set of days in order to take your child with you or ask for flexibility in case your trip gets delayed. Vacation plans can greatly impact how you and the other parent arrange the holiday schedule.
Traditions or Religious Events
Many families enjoy involving their children in traditional or religious observances, such as volunteering at a soup kitchen or attending midnight mass. These occasions can be incredibly meaningful to participate in as a family, and you may wish to include the other parent or request to have custody during that time.
Splitting the Breaks
Many parents divide holiday breaks so they can each spend a portion of it with their child. For example, one parent may choose to spend Christmas Eve with their child, letting the other parent take Christmas Day. Or, especially if the child is in school, parents may opt to follow the school’s holiday break schedule and divide it. For example: one parent would have the child for the first half of the winter school break, and the other parent would have the child for the second half. The decision to split the breaks depends on several factors, including how close you live to the other parent and whether exchanges tend to be contentious.
“Repeating” Holidays
Depending on your ultimate custody arrangement, you may not be able to spend every special occasion with your child. However, this does not mean that you miss out on the celebrations — you may not be able to spend New Year’s Eve watching the Times Square Ball drop, but you can always “repeat” New Year’s Eve the next time you have custody of your child. There are many ways to make “repeat” holidays feel memorable, and your child will likely love getting to celebrate twice!
After you have thought about your ideal holiday custody arrangement, an experienced family law attorney can work on drafting the legal documents, and submitting it to the Court if necessary. It may take some time to develop a holiday custody schedule that works for you and your family, but having the structure of a written arrangement will help make the holidays more manageable and even more enJOYable.
If you or somebody you know needs help with creating a holiday child custody schedule, our team at Modern Legal is here to help.
Please note: these educational materials are based on North Carolina law where Theresa’s legal practice is based. While the insights may have wide applicability, readers should consult with an attorney regarding the specific laws in their state or country.
Written by: Theresa E. Viera
