As Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, love seems to be in the air. From roses, chocolates, to little red hearts, we are surrounded by little reminders of “love.” If you are recently single, these reminders may make you start thinking about dating after divorce. Some of the most recurrent questions I get from clients: “When can I date? Is it okay if I start dating?” Most clients are concerned about the legal repercussions of dating and if dating affects their legal case.
After you have “separated,” it is technically permissible to start a new relationship. “Separated” in the State of North Carolina means you are no longer living together under the same roof and at least one party no longer has the intent to resume a marital relationship with the other party. The date of separation is established upon separation in North Carolina. Contrary to rumors, North Carolina does not require that an agreement between the parties be signed or that something is filed with the Courts to create the date of separation. However, the Court may establish the date of separation by Court Order should the parties substantially disagree as the specific date of separation.
Despite the law generally permitting dating after the date of separation, you want to be very careful. Dating someone new too soon after the date of separation could raise questions that impact your other legal claims. And regardless of the pending claims, generally, it is best not to “move-in” with a new romantic partner until your legal case is completely resolved.
Even if your marriage has hit a number of bumps and you are contemplating a divorce, do not start a new romantic relationship. Resulting legal consequences will likely damage your legal claims and will likely negatively impact your new romantic interest. More specifically, an extra-marital affair could impact spousal support claims. Your new relationship could influence postseparation support and alimony amounts by either denying you the support you would otherwise be entitled to (if you are the dependent spouse) or you could be responsible for an increased amount of support (if you are the supporting spouse).
North Carolina is one of the few states in the United States where criminal conversation and alienation of affection are still legal actions that can be pursued. Criminal conversation is sexual intercourse with another person’s spouse before the date of separation and a strict liability legal action in which monetary damages can be sought. Alienation of affection allows a spouse to sue a third party for wrongful acts that deprived him or her of the love and affection of their spouse. These legal actions are not fictional tales, rather they are legal claims pursued often in North Carolina.
After you have divorced, some considerations may still exist. For example, if you are the ex-spouse receiving alimony, you should consult with your attorney before re-marrying or moving-in with a romantic partner as this could result in termination of your alimony.
Finally, if you are dating someone new and you have children from your previous marriage, be mindful of how this may affect the welfare of your children or your custody situation. Some child custody orders or agreements prevent introducing your children to your romantic partner for certain time periods. Your custody case will likely be affected and could potentially be damaged if the correct steps are not taken.
If you have specific concerns, the best course of action is to discuss your concerns with your family law attorney. We want to ensure that you have a fun and litigation-free Valentine’s Day!
If you want to date while enduring a family law dispute, our Modern Legal team is here to help.
Please note: these educational materials are based on North Carolina law where my legal practice is based. While the insights may have wide applicability, readers should consult with an attorney regarding the specific laws in their state or country.
Written by: Theresa E. Viera
