The thought of separating from your spouse can be overwhelming for a variety of reasons. As an attorney, I cannot count how many times I have been asked, “What should I be thinking about before separating?” Preparation for an impending separation and divorce is one of the most common reasons that people consult with a family law attorney. With that in mind, I have rounded up my five tops tips to consider before separating from your spouse.
- Change Passwords: First, change your passwords on all social media, email, and individual accounts. We often allow our computers to remember our passwords and then we completely forget about it. This can allow your spouse to have access to emails, social media messages, or your finances which could jeopardize your situation moving forward. Especially if you communicate with your attorney via email, your attorney-client privilege could be negatively impacted. I always suggest creating a brand-new email address or resetting your password with a double authentication system, especially with the email address that you are using to communicate with your attorney. Setting up a new email is free and it’s a secure way to stay on top of your communications with your attorney. Google accounts tend to be the best for sharing information with our team. Additionally, make sure all accounts have the highest security and privacy settings.
- Gather Documents and Photos: Make sure you get copies of your tax returns, bank statements, retirement statements, titles, and other financial statements. Often people forget about gathering these documents and leave them in a file cabinet at the former marital residence which makes it difficult for your attorney to advise you on the financial aspect of your case. Other important documents include a passport, birth certificate, social security card, insurance card, immunization records, and other related records. If you need these documents in the future, there is no guarantee that your ex-spouse will voluntarily hand them over. Finally, take photos of anything you believe is relevant to your case. This could be photos of household items, alcohol in your spouse’s car, improper child car seats in your spouse’s car, or anything you find relevant to your particular situation. Speaking from experience, I have used photos of all the above instances in Court to help advocate for my clients.
- Prepare for the Financial Aspect of the Case: Hiring an attorney is a financial investment to protect your legal rights and the security of your family and finances. As such, prepare for the cost of retaining an attorney. Whether that is talking to family, friends, or saving up yourself to hire an attorney, you do not want lack of finances to hinder the progression of your legal matter, especially if it becomes a contentious court battle.
- Be Cautious of Social Media Posts: I cannot emphasize this point enough. A separation can be mentally taxing, but please do not post about it on all social media platforms. Unfortunately, anything posted on social media is “always” there even if you delete it. You never know who is watching and saving your posts. And yes, social media posts can be used in Court as evidence. Think about what you post before you post it, or better yet, do not post anything at all until your legal matter is completed. Even what seems like a harmless post could work against you and your case. For example, if you are asking for spousal support or alimony, do not post photos of your lavish vacation to Italy. Likewise, make sure all social media accounts have the highest security and privacy settings.
- Consult With an Attorney: Each case is unique and consulting an attorney is the best way to ensure that you are enter the separation phase aware of your legal rights and protections. An experienced family law attorney can ensure that you know how the law applies to your situation and helps foster confidence in the plans moving forward.
Although separation and divorce are stressful, being prepared is priceless!
If you are considering separation or divorce, our Modern Legal team is here to help.
Written by: Megan S. White
