“Why would I want to get advice from a Divorce Attorney before my Wedding Day?” I hear you. Unfortunately, the reality of being human is that we cannot predict the future. In a similar fashion, you may not think about your first car accident when you are buying a car, or you may not think about your child’s first ER visit when your child is born. But car accidents, illness, divorce…it all happens.
The average cost of a wedding in the United States is $28,000.00 according to The Knot’s 2021 Real Weddings Study. And this does not include the cost of a honeymoon! Depending on the issues presented at a divorce, a contested divorce will almost always lead to thousands of dollars spent. With hourly rates depending on the attorneys retained ranging from $200.00 to $1,000.00 an hour, it is not impossible to think you may pay more for your divorce than your wedding. Here are some of the costs associated with a divorce:
1. Attorney’s fees (which vary by State, County, and Attorney).
2. Court Fees.
3. Therapy costs.
4. Increased housing and refinancing costs. If the house is sold, then you are also looking at real estate agent fees.
5. Expert fees such as a Custody Evaluator, Accountant, Financial Advisor, Appraiser, Private Investigator, and other associated professionals.
*Should you and your soon-to-be Ex not agree on the use of one neutral Expert, the overall cost may be double since both of you will be paying for your own Expert.
6. Mediator and Mediation Fees.
7. Arbitrator and Arbitration Fees.
8. Parent Coordinator Fees.
9. Guardian Ad Litem or Best Interest Attorney Fees.
10. Parent Education Fees.
11. Document Production Fees (For example: If you request the past two years of bank statements directly from your bank, the bank may request a fee).
12. Discovery, Hearing, and Trial Costs (For example: When an Attorney prepares for Trial it is common for a prepared Attorney to create a Trial binder to present the exhibits to the Judge. However, the paper, color ink, the binders, and the physical work necessary to prepare said binders can cost thousands of dollars).
Of greater consequence is this reality: You will be separating household and incomes. You will not live at the same monetary standard of living that existed during the marriage. Simply put, no attorney, court or divorcee has been able to transform a $100,000.00 per year marital household into two identical $100,000.00 per year separate households.
In a financial sense, maybe you are not too worried about a car accident because you have car insurance and maybe you are not too worried about a health ailment because you have health insurance. What do you do about the possibility of divorce?
With statistics ranging from 40 to 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, the possibility of divorce in any marriage exists. There are many tools to ensure your marriage does not become part of the statistic, such as relationship education, counseling and various communication tools. However, many individuals end in divorce with extremely unique circumstances.
The best “insurance” policy for any probability of divorce is a premarital agreement, also referred to as a prenuptial agreement. The agreement, which is established during a time of communication and love, defines what would happen should something lead to separation or divorce. If you love someone, would you want them to lead a life without car insurance or health insurance? What about marital insurance?
Believe it or not, I am a romantic. How unromantic is a prenup? Well, it depends on perspective. I recognize the “traditional” notion that preconceiving failure leads to failure. However, there are circumstances out of any one person’s control that may lead to divorce; and if you really love the person that you are about to marry, would you want them to be protected against any negative probability?
A story…
A distraught woman comes into my office, after a lengthy marriage to her childhood sweetheart. As this woman and her husband head into a comfortable semi-retirement after years of planning, tragedy hits. The husband is involved in a devastating car accident, luckily leaving him in a coma. Against all odds, the husband was lives, wakes up, and endures months of rehabilitation and physical therapy. His wife tended to him day in and day out. The months that followed began with hope…but ended in the office of a divorce attorney. Unlike any point in the past, the husband began exhibiting new concerning behaviors – drinking alcohol in excess, gambling, and becoming physically aggressive with his wife. He began to deplete the couple’s retirement savings. The breaking point occurred when, for the first time in the over forty-year relationship, he raised his hand and physically struck his wife. The utter shock of this physical violence, from the love of her life and a walking miracle, was apparent as she sat across the table from me. Through the tears she sought a desperate answer to her question, “What do I do?”
The car accident was not the wife’s fault nor was it the husband’s fault. But tragedy hits many families. Had a premarital agreement been signed by this couple, the months that followed the woman’s question may have not led to a bitter mud-slinging argument in a courtroom, not to mention the thousands of dollars spent on attorney fees and court costs.
A premarital agreement is a unique legal tool and form of insurance that allows two people during a time of love and care to establish the property and financial rights of both spouses in the event of a separation or divorce.
There is romance but then there is fantasy versus reality. Be careful to not let your fantasies lead to a bitter consequence when the unpredictable happens.
If you or a friend are looking for further guidance on the legal implications of marriage or to draft a Prenuptial Agreement, our Modern Legal team is here to help.
Please note: these educational materials are based on North Carolina law where my legal practice is based. While the insights may have wide applicability, readers should consult with an attorney regarding the specific laws in their state or country.
Written by: Theresa E. Viera
