Country-star Jimmie Allen had two big announcements recently: (1) his wife was expecting their third baby and (2) they were separating. With tabloids and social media, a buzz went viral with the shocking announcement the couple shared via Instagram; however, the family law community was not shocked. This type of update is common in the family law world. I have had numerous legal consultations with individuals expecting a baby as well as separating from their spouse. While having a baby can be a joyful time, it can also be stressful on many couples.
If you are in the same boat as Jimmie Allen, what should you do?
First and foremost, talk with your soon-to-be ex about their expectations moving forward and how they want to navigate doctor’s appointments, baby showers, and the birth of your child. Generally speaking, both parents want to be involved in the pregnancy and birth. Having clear expectations can take away from the unknown or stress surrounding birth. If you can work out a plan early on, this will help avoid a lot of confusion and frustration. Some considerations include (1) which appointments will both parents attend, (2) how will the birthing parent notify the other parent when labor starts, (3) will hospital visits take place by the non-birthing parent after the child is born. I have found if people can communicate about their plans in advance, they avoid a lot of issues and arguments when the focus should be caring for the new little one coming into the world.
Secondly, be prepared for the baby. If you moved to a new residence, buy a crib, clothing, diapers, toys, and baby necessities so you are prepared to take care of the baby upon his or her arrival. This is the case even if you do not necessarily know how much time you will have with the baby. You will want to be involved and be able to spend time with your child once he or she arrives. It can also be helpful to talk with your soon-to-be ex about what items they will be purchasing. As a general rule, child support is not required in North Carolina until the baby is born. However, it is highly recommended to work together and financially support the pregnancy and items for the baby. Keep record and receipts of what you purchase or pay for during this time.
Finally, speak with an attorney so you are prepared for bringing a new child into the world, the financial implications of having a child, and how to navigate a separation or divorce, where applicable. The simple but best advice I can give anyone, is be prepared and do not go it alone. Find an attorney you feel comfortable with and is knowledgeable for the next steps in your situation.
If you or someone you know is going through a family law dispute in the midst of a pregnancy, our Modern Legal Team is here to help.
Written by: Theresa E. Viera
