When you are going through a separation or divorce, figuring out big questions—like who gets what, where the kids will live, or how money will be handled—can feel like a full-time job. And while reaching an agreement with your soon-to-be ex is a huge step forward, how you document that agreement matters just as much.
That’s where the difference between a Consent Order and a private contract comes in.
So What Is a Consent Order?
A Consent Order is a written agreement between soon-to-be exes that is signed by both parties and then submitted to the Court. Once a judge reviews and signs it, the Consent Order becomes an official court order—and here’s the key part: it is then filed with the Court and becomes part of the public record.
Translation? Your agreement is not just between the two of you anymore. It now carries the full force of the Court behind it—and it is visible to the public like any other court filing. That can be a pro or a con, depending on your comfort with privacy, but it absolutely adds to the seriousness and enforceability of the agreement.
If one party does not follow through with the obligations imposed by the Consent Order, you can go to Court to enforce the terms. That might include wage garnishment, fines, or even jail time in extreme cases. In short, a Consent Order is a way to lock in your agreement with legal consequences for non-compliance.
What’s a Private Contract?
A private contract is exactly what it sounds like: an agreement between two people that stays out of the court system. It is still legally valid, but if one person breaks it, you will need to pursue a breach of contract claim in civil court. That process tends to be slower, more expensive, and more complex than enforcing a court order.
Can a Consent Order or Private Contract Be Changed Later?
In both, it depends.
For property division, Consent Orders are generally final. Modifying them later would require proof of fraud, hidden assets, or something seriously unjust. For child custody, child support or spousal support (Alimony), courts allow modifications only if there’s a substantial change in circumstances. Regardless of the subject addressed, a modification of a Consent Order will generally require the involvement of a Judge, especially if a requested modification is a hotly contested issue between both sides.
A modification of a private contract will generally require an additional written agreement executed to the same formality of the original agreement. Thus, a verbal agreement to modify a signed and notarized property distribution will not be enforceable in Court.
So Which One Should You Choose?
If you want your agreement to carry weight, be enforceable in the same manner of other court orders, and you are not worried about privacy or a Judge’s future modification, a Consent Order is the way to go.
However, if you want to prioritize privacy and limit the Court’s influence over your family’s financial affairs, then a private spousal agreement (such as a Separation Agreement) may be the best course of action.
If you or somebody you know wants to learn more about changing their name as a result of divorce, our team at Modern Legal is here to help.
Please note: these educational materials are based on North Carolina law where my legal practice is based. While the insights may have wide applicability, readers should consult with an attorney regarding the specific laws in their state or country.
Jordan Wideman is a compassionate family law attorney at Modern Legal, driven by a lifelong passion for helping others. Coming from a family rooted in public service, Jordan brings empathy, strength, and dedication to every client. A proud first-generation attorney, Jordan uses personal experience and deep community ties to guide families through their most important challenges—because to Jordan, family is defined by love, not just blood.
