The start of a new year can be exciting for many – it feels like a clean slate and an opportunity to start fresh. However, for those going through a divorce or custody battle, seeing “January 1st” on the calendar may serve as a harsh reminder that you are carrying the same issues that plagued you last year into a new year. Although a complicated family law issue is not a bad habit you can ‘break,’ you can create new year resolutions that will make dealing with your family law case a little more bearable:
Rest. Going through any legal matter can be exhausting. Talking with attorneys, gathering documents, and attending meetings is a lot to add to your day-to-day responsibilities. When your to-do list is pages long, it can feel counterproductive to slow down and relax. But resting is vital to your health, both physical and mental. It improves your ability to concentrate, helps your immune system function better, and boosts your mood. Find ways to wind down – whether it be through extra sleep, watching your favorite TV show, or enjoying a hobby – and give yourself a break.
Focus on the good. Family law cases can be messy and take months to resolve, which means it’s easy to feel consumed by negativity and unease. However, the more you focus on the bad, the harder it becomes to see the good in your life. Practicing gratitude exercises – like thinking of a few things you appreciate – can help shift your perspective. Mediation and grounding yourself with simple breathing exercises may also bring calm when you are feeling anxious, panic, or fear. Of course, sometimes you just need to vent your frustrations, and that can feel cathartic in its own way. Take the time to rant to your mom, your dog, or your notebook, and then let those feelings pass.
Surround yourself with support. The people we surround ourselves with can significantly impact our wellbeing. Form a support system that includes loving family members and friends, and lean on them. You may find it surprising how much your family and friends want to help if only you ask. Therapy is also a great option to talk through and manage difficult emotions. Maybe you will even find someone with whom you can relate – if they got through it, then so will you.
Give yourself grace. Finally, be gentle with yourself. You are experiencing an overwhelming and emotional process. I know you want things to be done, I know you want things to go quicker, I know you want to move on with your life. However, your life is now. It is normal to have bad days and get frustrated. You are allowed to be imperfect. Forgive yourself, breathe, and keep going. The only way is through, and you can do it.
While you may not be able to single-handedly determine your family law matter, these simple habits are ways that you can spend time taking care of YOU during this time. Resolve to make yourself a priority this year and remember that this, too, shall pass.
If you or someone you know wants help enduring the family law legal process, our team at Modern Legal is here to help.
Written by: Theresa E. Viera
